SentiMental

Did you know Oct. 11TH is national mental health day? Mental Health Day only happens once a year~it consists of free testings for normality. The best part is, that in all the the many years they have conducted these tests (I envision rubber chickens, red rubber noses and x-ray specks!) they have not found one normal person~& between you and  I'M RELIVED! I find the whole field of therapy I.E. psychiatry, psychology and all other shiny and newly developed hip mental supports- over used & underdeveloped. Its relatively sole theme is one of profit and gain. Many American institutions are responsible, from drug companies, insurance companies, lawyers & the list goes on. I have had several psychologists myself, as well as  for my boys. They have varied tremendously in technique: one psychologist helped by simply bashing Nerf swords and letting our son  scream, while others  did things I' m convinced where just plain made up on the spot. I often wondered why and how  these tests are created, either it's to laugh about later, or to see if someone would fall for this ridiculousness! (no offense if any technique I am about to share has worked for you.)  After the Columbine killings, my son was having a difficult time for a multitude of reasons, he has always worn all black and back then he also sported a very cool black oiled duster. Can you say target?  Being very true to himself, he was  smart  enough to know that a black trench coat does not a killer make.  Well, not according to the media who began all out tirade against kids who wore black and how dangerous and demonic they where. Hype was going on that the trench coat killers and could be your kid too, it was easy to ascertain the 'media' stated, by just looking at there clothes. Soon it was not only media it was passed on my community, to fellow employees and sadly even my own friends.  At that time we lived in the suburb of Redmond, Washington, it is a wealthy affluent conservative area. (The Lake Washington school district is the best) Alas, people are so highly educated and civilized in our country/area (pretentious.) Testosterone fueled teens did things like pelt rocks and bottles at my son (from the safety of there car,) sometimes even yelling KILLER! It was a time of heightened fear created of a mixture of this hype and of ignorance and it was at its peak. About this time our family faced a another set of unique challenges. One morning my older son became overwhelmed with shock, when looking down at the paper he saw his friends mug shots emblazoned across the local news paper. He did after all have a reason to be devastated he knew both the assailants, as well as the victims. (they all attended the same school.)  I was beside myself too, I knew those boys as I always make it a point to know my children friends. My baby boy, (the oldest), became very depressed and I knew he needed a shrink. At the time I could not afford one. I worked hard researching and eventually found an organization for youth which worked on a on a sliding scale. Being that they were a youth organization, all the better- therapists who understand the complex adolescent mind.The realization I had was that since people were slinging such hateful anger at him, he had no time to process and grieve. It was the end of his friendship, the death of a friend and even worst. I tried talking to him first, I let him know he was allowed to love them, and allowed to miss them. Though we can hate what they did, his memories were of friendship and good times, memories of walking around at night dressed like Brandon Lee in the Crow, of having bonfires on the beach, of feeling cool, having fun,  memories of  laughing and bonding like boys do. These were his memories, but because his friends brutally killed that family everyone wanted to believe that they were only ever killers, with no past, this was not abnormal given the circumstances. Kain, my first born, who I had at 15, I feel for him. I study grief and death, did hospice and A.I.D.S work, hell, I read Elizabeth Kubler -Ross. He needed an outside perspective, to be more real and honest than one could be with there parents, no matter how close you are and of course professional insight. So, we headed to the youth center to and hurry up and wait. The therapist came out and asked us both to come in (fine with me I understand this therapy world and its boundaries can be quite loose.) Well, the first thing I notice is a big video cam she has set up on a tripod, ha. Immediately she goes into this speech that she is pioneering this new technique, and would Kain and I (I?) be willing to let her video tape us, Kain said okay, I sighed in disdain flashing the look of  "up to you, but next time don't answer so fast"  She than asks me to leave the room, he is 16, so I asked my son  "are you comfortable with that?" he nods. I leave, wait about 12 or less minutes, later she calls me in, having a short moment with Kain he looks at me incredulously and quickly says "this is sooo lame!" I enter with trepidation, trusting my son, I'm already feeling a defensive stance come over me. She take's off her sweater and rolls it into an embryo like ball, she  precedes to tell me to pretend this sweater is a baby. (At this point I was deeply pondering who really needs therapy.) She next instructs me to hold it in my arms via baby style. I try not to look at her as dumbfounded as I feel. Forcing a grimace of a smile I hesitantly say, "uhhh-okay" I hold this sweater baby, (thanking god I'm not on film) and in the same moment feeling sadness, humour and despair for my son- while having to inhaling her cheap perfume to breathe. She instructs me to tell the baby " I love you" I look at the balled up fabric, killing myself not to laugh, actually biting my lips hoping the pain would restrain me. "I can't do it" I blurted out along with a deep inhale of life giving oxygen. She responds,"do you know why you can't?" she has now entered the danger zone... "because its dumb?' I say questioningly. "No because the baby is you and you don't love yourself!" she injects. The next week I found a qualified adolescent psychologist, meanwhile I was got a call from the nameless sweater-loving doctor, therapist, life coach, whatever the hell she was. She  wanted to tell me of  strange her video findings.  The taping of Kain 'sharing love' of her sweater caught her attention on replay.She explained when she looked at her notes or the wall  that he would flip off the camera every time! That's my boy, throwing the finger to 'the man.' Later my new licensed Dr. explained Kain was asserting the way he felt about her new therapy, and it could be studied for years to come... OR NOT! I would love to hear your experiences with mental health people, good and bad so we can help others in there hesitation to get a shrink that may not embrace personality diversity and use any diagnoses to keep those insurance acceptance's coming through! I have some more tales from my notes on life and coping with mental health professionals.